I can still remember our appointment at a Fertility Center, I was so nervous and I didn’t know what to expect. My husband sitting right next to me and the doctor, a young looking lady who I think is a little bit older than me explaining the process and who will be helping us while we go thru this process.
So how did we end up in the clinic?
My husband and I got married June 2011. We’ve been trying to get pregnant since then nothing is really happening, although I already have an idea on why but I guess I am denying it.
I have what you call Polycystic ovarian syndrome, my OB-GYNE told me that back in the days they will do surgery and like “comb” out all the cyst in the ovaries but this would cause a lot more problems so it was stopped. She prescribed me pills until we decide to get pregnant and together with that was a referral to a fertility specialist.
Fast forward to today, our doctor asked us for a blood draw, ultrasound, hysterosalpingogram and sperm count for my husband. My husband already had 2 boys in his first marriage so I know it is me! The HSG was painful and it was like having a monthly period multiplied to 10x, that’s how painful it was. So far, my blood work came back okay, sperm count is okay, fallopian tube is not block and plenty of cysts in my ovaries. With all these information on hand, our fertility specialist came up with the treatment plan. First we start with the pills, if that will not work we move to pills + injections and if that still does not work the last option will be IVF.
I didn’t want to do the IVF simply because I want to get pregnant the natural way plus I am scared that we cannot afford all the expenses. At that time, our insurance only covers “1 shot” of IVF. I am already happy that I have a really good insurance at that time.
First treatment plan: Clomid and other pills
I take the pills for a week, we started with the lowest dosage and I have to come to the clinic (after starting the pill) like 3x/week. I have to do a bloodwork and ultrasound to check if my ovaries are producing eggs.
During this process, we do the bloodwork and ultrasound in the morning before going to work. They would count and measure the eggs, they will tell us if that is a cyst or eggs that we are looking at. We would get eggs but it didn’t grow to the size that they wanted. Every time, they will say “I am sorry to say but we will have to start over”. This means they have to increase the dosage or change the pill that I am taking. The moment we get to the car I will start crying, feeling frustrated and confuse on why this is happening to me.
The doctor does not want me to take these pills for more than 3 months if I remember correctly. This is because my body will get use to it and will not produce the right eggs that we needed.
Second treatment plan: Clomid + Injections
I do not like this treatment plan because it involves needles. But I really want to have a baby!!! So I take the pills and my husband will inject the medicines in my belly. The injections are done every night and one night we will do it on the right side, other nights on the left. At one point my belly was swollen with all the injections. There are nights I will be crying myself to sleep, I kept on praying that I hope this one will work!
During the 2nd treatment, one of the nurses told us that maybe we should take a short vacation. A change of scenery, those are the words that she said. It may help us with the process. Since at that time my husband have United voucher, we decided to go to Puerto Rico for our 1st wedding anniversary. Such a great idea and the place was so beautiful!!!!
A week after we came back, I had my usual bloodwork. Usually I do not get a call from them so getting a call at the time made me so nervous and anxious at the same time. The nurse on the other end of the line ask me if I am busy and I said I am just working from home. Her words was “Congratulations, your blood work shows you are pregnant!”
I did not jump for joy nor cry, I want to wait to see the ultrasound and hear the heartbeat. They told us to just continue with our normal routine and come back after a couple of weeks to do another ultrasound. Weeks pass by and it is time for the ultrasound, at first we are not hearing any heartbeat. Of course, I started to be anxious. I turned to my husband and told him “I counted and we are just barely 6 weeks pregnant, they said heartbeat can be heard at 8 weeks. Why cant they just tell me if I am having a miscarriage?”. The nurse went outside and her supervisor came back, they apologized and said that they miscalculated. There are 2 more weeks for us to wait until we hear the heartbeat. She apologized repeatedly and she told us that she will be in another location on our “correct date” so she insisted that we go to her location and she will do our ultrasound.
8th week came and it is time for my appointment. Almost everyday I am crying and talking to my belly, I keep telling her/him that please be alive, I am so excited to see you! During the ultrasound, my hands were so cold and I am so nervous! Then the a very loud thumping sound!!!! My baby has a strong heartbeat!!!! We are so happy and I can see my husband trying not to cry!
We did ask our fertility specialist that we want an aggressive treatment, I want to give birth before 35 years old. My little lady was born 174 days before my 31st birthday. Our job, the health insurance, the medicines, our trip to Puerto Rico, Prayers and husband’s unwavering support made all of this possible.
The entire process I can say is heartbreaking, traumatizing at time and it showed me how much my husband loves me. Regardless if I get pregnant or not, he said he would love and treat me just the same. We didn’t tell our entire family that we are doing this process, we kept it to ourselves. Even though there are less than 10 people in our family who knew, their support and prayers help us.
If you are planning or doing the process right now, you need a really good support system. Take a break if you have too. Don’t forget to stick to your normal routine, you may need to re-start or increase the dosage of your meds but there are still a lot of things that can you do.
Do I want to have another child? Yes I do!
Do I want to repeat the process? No
For now, I will enjoy the company of my husband and the challenges of raising a little lady.